- You don’t owe anything to the people who created you by smashing cells together.
- A bully is a bully and emotional mistreatment is abuse.
- Don’t let a dictionary definition of what “family” is guilt you.
- Love those who love you and are worthy of your love.
I mean seriously, if hearing someone’s voice for 30 seconds auto-triggers nausea and baseless guilt, then you have every right to question why they should exist in your life.
I choose to not respond.
About two years ago I cut off all contact with one of my parents; blocked them from being able to access me through phone and internet, didn’t give them my address when I moved, the mail they send to my office gets a “Return to Sender” on the envelope.
It has surprised me how rarely I feel guilty, like I expected I would. These last two years, it’s like the sun has finally come out. Genuine happiness and peace of mind reassure me, in my weaker moments, that my life is better now because I made the right decision. The more time passes, the more stable I feel.
My family now is made up of the people I’ve chosen to be in it, and I’m a healthier, happier person for it.
All of this, 1 million times, yes.
I cut off all contact when I was in college after a hideous message was left on my machine telling me I was worthless, all because I wasn’t home when he called the day before. I had spent my whole life living with abuse, it crippled me emotionally. He kidnapped me twice, both times were traumatizing and violent and the court still decided my sister and I had to see him. I was completely terrified and I decided I didn’t want to be anymore, and you know what? It turned out I didn’t have to be. When I turned 18 the court couldn’t tell me what to do anymore.I have so many friends with crazy parents and they want to work it out and make it right and if you can, that’s great. In some cases though, there is only so much trying you can do, only so much abuse you can take. Just remember that you have the strength and you can leave.
It’s usually the people that don’t have abusive or crazy parents that tell you ‘it’s your parent and you should always be there for them blah blah blah.’ But there’s a point where a bad person is just a bad person. I always feel comforted when I’m not alone in feeling the way I do about that sort of situation. It was interesting because recently Kate Beaton also posted something about abusive parents around mother’s day, which I appreciated, and here is the link she posted along with it: http://lightshouse.org/
